This Place About to Blow!


“It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out of your door.  You step into the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to.”

— J.R.R. Tolkien


Guess who’s coming to dinner?  Here are some clues:

The grocery store looks like this:

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The storefronts look like this:

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The parking lots look like this:

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And my dining room table looks like this:

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Any guesses?

target lady

The Outer Banks are in full preparation mode for the incoming hurricane.  Weather-related puns and pirate jokes are flowing freely.  Storm Tracker Bruce comes up in conversation at least every hour.  I have enough bread and water to feed Aladdin and an army of his street rat friends for a month.

Yes, there is a mandatory evacuation in place.  No, I am not leaving.  The county does not expect everyone to – it’s actually estimated that 80% of residents are remaining here.  In some cases, it is a better idea to board up and stay put than to jump on the bypass and add to the already barely-moving traffic made up of people driving unsafely and bottlenecking the bridge as they hysterically try to get off the beach.

For my friends and family also in the path of the storm: be careful.  For my friends and family out of the way: I know these may be empty words, but please don’t worry.  We are informed and prepared.  I have back-up plan upon back-up plan.  We are ready for the wind.  We are ready for the flooding.  I have plenty of supplies to stay in my house, and plenty of places to go if Irene proves to be too much for the Palmetto Palace.  Almost all of my friends and coworkers are still here, and I have multiple big buff army-guy neighbors who have already come over with offers of ice and generators.  I have the roasting room in Nags Head which has the structural integrity of a bomb shelter.  And I also have this sweet face keeping me company:

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It’s gonna be a doozy.  There’s a good chance I won’t have power, internet, and possible cell service for most of Saturday and Sunday, but I’ll see y’all on the other side!

She’ll be righ’, mate!

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