New Year’s Day in Cornwall

After a pretty crazy and exhausting New Year’s Eve, I think all five of us were more than ready for a calm and relaxing New Year’s Day.  We decided to take it easy, and after breakfast we all threw on wellies or sneakers and headed out our own front door to explore the grounds.

Since we’d arrived at The Old Vicarage after dark, we hadn’t been able to tell what the bed & breakfast or surrounding area really looked like at all.

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It’s a lovely little collection of old stone buildings surrounded by meadows, horse pastures, and even a little stone church with a crumbling cemetery.

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Pitted dirt roads and mossy stone walls wind through the whole place, and we all just kept picking paths as we came to them, splitting up and meeting again at the next corner.

The church on the grounds is Saint Hilary Church which dates all the way back to the 1200s.  Parts of the building and the cemetery are much newer, but we still spotted gravestones from the late 18th century.

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We were wandering along the path that leads around the church when a sweet lady came bustling out of nowhere in her wellies & dressing gown and asked if we’d like to see the inside.  She unlocked the church with a big old-fashioned iron key, told us we could stay as long as we liked, and showed us how to turn the lights off when we left.

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The entire floor was a beautifully tiled clay mosaic and the Christmas decorations were still up from the week before.

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We flipped the lights off and pulled the heavy wooden door shut behind us before we continued our exploration of the property.

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The gloomy weather actually added to the feel of the place, and everything looked brilliantly green against the gray sky and gray stone.

Doesn’t this just look like quintessential old English countryside?

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Having enjoyed a sufficiently leisurely morning stroll, we figured that we should probably extend our experience of Cornwall at least slightly beyond the boundaries of our accommodation, so we piled back into Hip Hop Yellow and drove along the coast.

Just offshore from the little town of Marazion (or Marzipan, as my dad called it) is St. Michael’s Mount, a tiny island that’s home to a castle, chapel, fishing harbour, and even its own little village (sorry my spelling is so mixed up now – there are just some words that look better British).

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The island has been inhabited for over 1500 years, and used to be the Cornish counterpart to Mont Saint-Michel in Normandy, although the official connection ended when Henry V went to war with France in the 1400s.

Fun fact time, everybody!  Mont Saint-Michel was the inspiration for Minas Tirith in The Return of The King and St. Michael’s Mount is its English twin, so basically we visited the capital of Gondor that day.

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During low tide, the island is accessible by a stone walkway from the mainland.  We lucked out and happened to get there while the walkway was fully exposed, so even though it was misty and wet, we decided to check it out.

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Not much was happening on the little ol’ island that day, but on Tuesdays and Fridays you can take a tour of the castle, and during nicer days in the summer there are cafes and little shops in the village.  St. Michael’s Mount also has its own underground railway through the island, which is still used to transport goods between the harbour and the castle.

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It was raining lightly but very consistently at this point, and we were all soaked after about five minutes on the island.  Just then, the top half of the closest house’s Dutch door swung open and a guy in a big knit sweater leaned out.  The world’s most perfect Cornish fisherman told us that we’d better scamper on back to the mainland if we wanted to make it, or else he’d worry about us in this weather.

Apparently the tide was coming in quicker than we’d realized, and the island’s last residents were currently hurrying home in a little white van before they were marooned for another cycle.

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We quickly thanked the fisherman and started our mad dash back along the walkway.  Before we were halfway along, the water was already lapping at our toes.

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The rain was coming down in earnest by this point, and the rocks were slippery with seaweed and slime.  The wind was picking up and the waves were getting bigger, and being swept off the path and into the sea did not seem that far outside of the realm of possibility.  If I were a mermaid I would not have been concerned.

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We made it back to shore with a little slipping and sliding, hightailed it away from the beach, and dove headfirst into the first open coffee shop we came across.

It was The Coffee Lounge attached to The Marazion Hotel and we spent the next hour warming up our toes and letting our jackets drip dry while we had tea and scones and chatted with the manager, Susie.

By the time we were ready to venture back outside, the rain had stopped and the sun was desperately trying to poke through the dark stormclouds.

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The walkway out to St. Michael’s Mount was just barely visible as it slid off the beach and into the water, and after a few more minutes, it was nowhere in sight.

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There were a few daring kiteboarders taking advantage of the wind and swells.  It made me miss my Outer Banks friends & coffee customers – I know so many of them would’ve been out there, too, despite the rain and freezing temps!

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Paul, Amity, and I hopped back in the car while my parents decided to brave the three-mile coastal walk to Penzance.  Good on them, but I was getting brainfreeze from the wind.  By the time they met us back at The Longboat Inn, us kids were properly warmed up and a couple pints ahead of them.

We all relaxed in the pub, caught a bit of whatever football match was on, and were glad to fulfill our promise of returning and giving those fine folks some patronage after they’d been so jolly nice and helpful to us during the previous night’s wild goose chase!

The afternoon held another exciting adventure for us, but I have altogether too many pictures of it to keep going right now, so you’ll have to come back again soon…

How to Royally Screw Up a Roadtrip

A handy step-by-step guide!

This post is about the day my family and Amity and I drove to Cornwall.  It also chronicles how a day that embodied Murphy’s Law in every possible sense of the concept turned into one of the best New Year’s Eves in memory… all mixed up with some photos of Stonehenge so that your eyes don’t glaze over.

I’ve formatted it as a handy little list so that you, too, can thoroughly bungle your next roadtrip!  Simply follow these steps in order.  And don’t worry, there were a few spots of sunshine throughout the day, so I’ve included “checkpoints” so that you know when to insert a pleasant experience into your otherwise horror of a day.

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Step 1: Forget maps.

This is key, as it sets the tone for your entire trip.  Make sure you don’t accidentally remember your maps, or your travel might actually go rather smoothly.  We had two big paper roadmaps, one of the entire UK and one of England, that we left sitting on my kitchen table as we skipped out the door to pick up our rental car.

Step 2: Get assigned ridiculously recognizable rental car so that when you later drive in circles through the same little town, the locals will be sure to notice.

May I present: Hip Hop Yellow.

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Inconspicuous was not the name of the game on this roadtrip.  We asked if we could have Milky Tea again, but Hip Hop Yellow was the only one of the same model.

Step 3: Get lost LITERALLY the second you leave the rental car place.

I don’t think any of us can completely explain how this happened (especially since Amity & I had rented from the same car place and driven away with no problems only a week before), but it was some combination of bad weather, heavy traffic, and no GPS signal.  Basically, we slowly orbited Heathrow airport for a full hour before finally driving off in the direction we meant to.

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CHECKPOINT: Find roast ham & cranberry sauce flavored crisps at a rest stop.

Americans need to hop on the flavored chips wagon.  These were like that Willy Wonka gum where you get a three-course meal in one piece!

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Step 4: Drive straight into a torrential rainstorm.

This will do nothing to help your navigation situation (refer to Step 1 & Step 3), which by this point is spiraling towards imminent doom.

CHECKPOINT: Stop at Stonehenge (or other famous historic site).  Commune with Druids.

Aha!  The main event.  Just as you arrive, the rain will let up and blue sky will peek through.  The sun will slowly set throughout your visit and you will exclaim passionately that it was all worth it, that every obstacle you’d faced that day led to this perfect moment.  You will start to see a light at the end of the tunnel, although you will not realize at this point that it is actually a hinkypunk holding a lantern and luring you into a trap.  But no matter – enjoy it for now.

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Stonehenge really was amazing.

Step 5: Enter a timewarp and take three hours longer to reach destination than expected.

Back in to your flashing bat signal of a car, if you please.  Enjoying the sunset at your historic site means that it is now dark, and road lighting is nonexistent.  We trucked along fairly stoically, approaching, passing, and then waving goodbye in the rearview mirror to our estimated time of arrival.  I think we were all silently denying it to ourselves until one of our backseat passengers ventured timidly, “Um… could we have an update?”

Step 6: Lose GPS signal again (refer back to Step 3) and become unsure as to whether you are travelling in the right direction.

This one’s self-explanatory.  We performed it brilliantly; I suggest you do the same in order to keep your roadtrip distinctly on the wrong track.  Eventually, we popped into a slightly dodgy-looking roadside diner and found some free maps of Devon and Cornwall.  Perform this action earlier if you need a bit of a pick-me-up and turn this step into a checkpoint!

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Step 7: Reach the town where your B&B is after dark.  Fail to locate said B&B.

Bonus points if it’s raining again (it was).

CHECKPOINT: Pop into a little pub and ask for help from some really nice bartenders.

Ah, The Longboat Inn.  Our sweet sweet saviors.  Well, actually not at all, but they really tried and they were just swell folks.  Even drew us a little map by hand.

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Step 8: Still fail to find said B&B.  Wander on foot in the freezing darkness.  Accost a poor local just trying to walk to his friend’s NYE party.

If you can’t find a local to accost, don’t worry – just carry on to Step 9.

CHECKPOINT: End up being best friends with this local.  He is awesome and makes corny jokes.

He noticed my dad and I standing on a street corner and staring around helplessly, asked if we were lost, and when my dad told him we were looking for a place called The Old Vicarage, he said, “Probably near The New Vicarage, eh?”

In my memory, I now picture him looking like a dashing Disney prince come to life, although I don’t actually really remember what he looked like as my eyes were clouded by despair.

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Step 9: Find B&B.  It is pitch dark and nobody answers the doorbell.

This is a very important step.  It really takes your roadtrip over the top from “not going so well” to “I wouldn’t be surprised if we got hit by an asteroid at this point.”  Pretty sure I asked my dad if he and I could just sleep on the sidewalk at that point because I didn’t want to go back to the car and tell the others that we’d finally found the place and it was deserted.

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Step 10: Find wifi signal in town.  Realize you are at the wrong B&B in the wrong town.

Because it makes sense that a place called The Old Vicarage Penzance is not actually in Penzance, right?

CHECKPOINT: Arrive at correct B&B.  Apologize profusely to owners for being so late.  Collapse into lovely comfortable suite.

Optional: if you’ve had enough, feel free to end your journey here.  It depends how well you’ve prepared and how often you’ve eaten throughout your terrible horrible no good very bad day.

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Step 11: Realize everyone is so hungry that some members of your party have actually become faint.

If you’re feeling especially ambitious, carry on with this step.  Degree of hunger and number of people who are actually taken ill with it is up to you.

Step 12: Call three different pizza delivery places.  Realize you are so far in the boonies that nobody will deliver to you.

Oh, the humanity!  One pizza guy actually told me really apologetically, “I’m really sorry – I would lose my license if I delivered that far!”

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Step 13: Venture back out in the car.  Quickly find out that all the pubs in town closed their kitchens half an hour ago.

Timing is key for this step – 10pm is usually a good cut-off to aim for.  I think my mom and I were there a little before 10:30.

Step 14: Half-lay on the bar, summon tears to your eyes, and ask if there is ANYPLACE AT ALL IN THIS GODFORSAKEN TOWN STILL SERVING FOOD.

Results may vary.  In our case, the bartender took pity on us and slightly skeptically (“You really mean any place?”) told us that there was a Chinese place at the top of the hill.

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Step 15: Drive to Chinese food restaurant.  Point at random menu items.  Wait.

It was a mark of how ridiculous the day had been that I was really, really sure something else was going to go wrong at this point, when we were so close.  The credit card was going to be declined.  The restaurant would explode in a fiery inferno.  Something.  (You can add this if you like for an extra dash of awful.)

As an aside, a group of teenagers came in while we were waiting for our food, and one of the boys was telling his friends how he’d thought midnight mass was a special kind of rave.

CHECKPOINT: Try to hold in sobs of joy when waiter hands you a cardboard box full of food.

Don’t eat yet, though.  You owe it to your travel companions to deliver.

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END: Return to B&B.  Feed troops.  Drink champagne.  Play iPad guitar.

Well done!  You’ve successfully made a muck-up of your roadtrip.  It certainly keeps things more interesting, doesn’t it?

By the time the clock flicked over to midnight and we officially toasted to 2014, we were all happily fed, comfortable in our PJs, and laughing so hard we couldn’t speak.  All day we’d been repeating the mantra, “This will be funny eventually.  Just think of what a good story this will be eventually.”  Turns out “eventually” came along a lot quicker than we’d expected!

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Travel doesn’t always go as planned.  Sometimes it goes really NOT as you’d planned.  Good company and a happy ending will turn everything around, though.

By the way, it’s definitely worth checking out the video of the London fireworks display from this New Year’s Eve – incredible!  There’s no way we would have gotten this kind of view if we’d been in the city!

Edinburgh Castle, and a Wander


“The happiest lot on earth is to be born a Scotsman.  You must pay for it in many ways, as for all other advantages on earth… But somehow life is warmer and closer; the hearth burns more redly; the lights of home shine softer on the rainy street; the very names, endeared in verse and music, cling nearer round our hearts.”

— Robert Louis Stevenson, The Silverado Squatters (1883)


Our last full day in Scotland was upon us – alas!  It was also the first day that we really got the weather we’d been expecting all week.  It was FREEZING.

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We walked up the hill to Edinburgh Castle and went in just after it opened at 9:30 (or “half nine” as they say here).

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We hopped on a brief tour with a hilarious Dutch guide named Ernest.  He was extremely jovial and had some excellently rehearsed jokes.

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At one point, he joked that the castle’s chapel can still be booked for wedding and is very popular with fathers of the bride because it only seats 25 people… there was a really delayed reaction while Ernest waited expectantly, before one guy on the tour started laughing really hard, and Ernest said, “Oh, thanks!  You are very polite.”

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We learned a lot about the really interesting history of the castle on our tour.  Like many other parts of Scotland’s identity and culture, it’s been rather badly bullied by the English over the centuries.  One thing I realized on this trip is that the United Kingdom is not quite as united as one might think – I’ll actually be really interested to see the result of the Scottish vote of independence next year.

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Anyway, it was so dang cold out that we hightailed it in to the Scottish Crown Jewels exhibit the second Ernest was done talking.  I thought the way that the castle rooms and exhibits were laid out was really cool (bitte nicht fotografieren, sorry!).  After, we visited the chamber where Mary Queen of Scots gave birth to James VI of Scotland (aka James I of England – confusing!), the Great Hall, and the Scottish National War Memorial.

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The memorial was really moving (that’s not what’s pictured above – they didn’t allow photos).  It was in a big stone cathedral-like space, with a pillar in the center marking the highest point of the rock on which the castle is built.  The chamber was lined with thick leger books filled with the names of every Scot who has lost their life in a conflict, and they’re still being added to today.  It was so simple, but one of the most thorough and genuine memorials I’ve ever seen.  It was a very beautiful and somber place.

It was still pretty cold in the stone buildings, so we went for cream tea (tea and scones) in the café to really warm up.  Thus began… The Chair Saga.  See Amity’s blog for a full account.

We wanted to stay in the café all day (as the beautiful Scottish lad who rung us out had suggested… swoon), but they were clearly setting up for a special Christmas luncheon and we started to feel badly about taking up a table when it was getting so busy.

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We pulled our hoods closed as tightly as possible and did another really quick circuit to take in the views from over the castle walls before heading back towards town.

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We stopped in to a little and unassuming-looking gift shop, which turned out to be housing a huge three-story underground weaving shop in its depths!  There were people and machines weaving kilts and tartan fabric at furious speeds, and a whole exhibit of the evolution of Scottish traditional dress.

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We stopped in a few other shops and finally decided to visit The Writers’ Museum, which Billy had pointed out to us on our first day in Edinburgh and we’d been dwelling on ever since.  The museum is in a beautiful old Victorian house and is dedicated to the lives and work of Robert Louis Stevenson, Sir Walter Scott, and Robert Burns.  I never knew much specific information about any of them, so I really enjoyed getting to learn more while I was in their home country.  I especially loved the connecting theme of how important their Scottish identity was to each of them.  Robert Louis Stevenson had some amazing quotes about Scotland and about travel in general, which I jotted down and have been using for inspiration at the beginning of these recap posts.  I really want to read some of their books now!

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After we left the museum, we walked up and down the Royal Mile a bit more, but it was just too cold to stay outside for long.  We went back to the Starbucks on High Street and camped out upstairs with hot drinks.  It was a really cool place, with old mismatched chairs and tables, and built-in bookshelves lining the walls that were filled with old dusty books.

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I randomly picked out A Wanderer in London by E.V. Lucas – what a find!  I’d never heard of it, but his writing reminded me a bit of a less-ridiculous Bertie Wooster.  I kept using my phone to snap photos of the pages because there were so many great quotes.  I loved that it made me feel so fond of my new hometown, because love for Scotland had been creeping up on me throughout our visit and I was feeling a little melancholy about returning to London.  It was nice to rekindle the spark.

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Amity and I sat and read for a couple of hours before we started feeling peckish, so we picked out The Mitre Pub and went in for a somewhat early dinner.  I had a delicious burger and an even more delicious pint of Guinness.  Irish stout in Scotland!  Blasphemous!  But wait, here’s the thing.  I really like good beer.  I mean, my blog acronym is ALE (okay, that was not intentional, but it is a happy coincidence).  And I was TOLD that Britain is the place to be for good beer.  NOT SO, MY FRIENDS.  Britain is the place to be for warm yellow beer.  So after being told at multiple places that they didn’t have anything dark except for Guinness, I bit the bullet.

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We enjoyed our last leisurely walk through Edinburgh and our last evening at the StarVilla – I really grew to love this city!

The next morning, we woke up with plenty of time to catch the cab that Doreen had arranged for us, so we sat on our beds and had a leisurely cup of tea before heading out.  Our driver was a really nice old man who chatted to us about the underground passages in Edinburgh where they used to throw people with the plague.  So that was swell.

We got to Waverley Station a bit early for our 8:30am train, so we sat and entertained ourselves by observing the antics of a particularly perseverant pigeon who was determined to get some guy’s food in Burger King.  It didn’t cross my mind at the time, but now I’m wondering what kind of person eats Burger King at eight o’clock in the morning.  That guy, I guess.

We boarded the train, got underway, and I watched the sun rise as we sped through the Scottish countryside and back towards England.

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So ends the account of our week in Scotland.  But wait, there’s more!  Don’t get excited.  There’s just one last little bit of Scotland fun that will be popping up here in a couple days before we bid adieu to the land of kilts and haggis.  See ya soon!

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