I went to open up a blank blog post and update you guys on the latest adventures in London town, and I noticed this draft that I’d started months ago but since forgotten.
I think it must have been a few weeks before I left the Outer Banks, when my sadness at leaving was far overshadowing my anticipation of moving to London in the day-to-day. The exciting European city I’d never been to just didn’t feel nearly as real as the little beach that had been my home for two years.
When I thought about it, I was still thrilled at the prospect of London, but then I’d have a day on the OBX that would make me question myself. It was never a particularly special day; that was the point. The guy at the produce stand would give me a free sunflower with my fruit and veggies. I’d see someone I knew at every stop on my errands. One of my regulars would bring me lunch at the coffee shop because I forgot to pack one. I’d run to the beach and watch the waves crashing around the pier. The daily life equivalent of hitting all the green lights. An ordinary day that highlighted how incredible this place and these people were, and I’d wonder if I was crazy – why in the world I was giving that up?!
But I still knew in my heart that I couldn’t stay there forever – that moving on and going to grad school was the right decision for me. London was calling (they say it does that…).
I tried to keep a positive perspective and remember my past experiences. I HATE leaving places. I didn’t want to leave home to go to Geneseo. I didn’t want to leave Geneseo to go to New Zealand. I didn’t want to leave New York to go to the Outer Banks. But those were all my decisions, and I left anyway – and Geneseo, New Zealand, and the Outer Banks have given me some of the best times of my life. Why would London be any different?
So I started gathering these little snippets and quotes from around the internet (if you follow me on Pinterest, you may have already seen some of them). I’d planned to publish this post on the blog when I left the Outer Banks, to share and to remind myself, “don’t worry, be happy!” But then I forgot. Oops.
I just read through them all again, and ya know what? I still like them all. Hopefully you’ll enjoy them, too. Some wisdom and inspiration I’m finding very appropriate right now…
In a way, it was kind of nice to find this unfinished post and remember how I was feeling back then. It was so, so hard to leave the Banks. I was miserable that morning, and really lucky to have my little brother there to drive and play happy roadtrip songs while I pouted against the window.
But then I had an absolutely wonderful month at home. I got to spend a ton of time with my family, help move out of my childhood home and into my parents’ new one, eat Stewart’s ice cream, hike mountains, see old high school friends. I took myself on a veritable tour of the northeast, from Rexford to Boston to Lake George to Vermont to Manhattan and back again, visiting friends and family from all the other homes I’ve picked up along the way. It was just the best.
And then I got on a plane, flew across the Atlantic, and now I’m two weeks into the part of my life that was looming mysteriously ahead of me for so long. I really miss the Outer Banks – I had such a wonderful part of my life there – but guess what? I love London, too (oh, who’s surprised).